Inside · the · Writer's · Head

I wrote today....I'm writing now. I haven't wrote a word since the week before Halloween. I've felt no desire to until today. I was going through some old magazines and found a pull out poster for the publishers Fire Bird. The picture on it was great and phoenixes and fire birds have always meant something to me. A psychic told me a phoenix was my guardian and I have a tattoo of one on my shoulder blade. I took it as a sign and hung it above my desk. They publish fantasy and science fiction so my goal is to finish the book and submit it to them.

its a great day to be alive! Rumsfeld resigns! Nancy Polesi is the new speaker of the house! Democrats take control of the house! One state away from control of the senate! Missouri approves stem cell research, Arizona votes No on gay marriage ban, and South Dakota votes no on abortion ban. Change is in the air.

okay, i am about 46 pages into the book, around 14k words. is it too soon to start the relationship between ezra and pandora? i'm not used to having to pace things since i usually do short stories. i'm thinking this book is actually going to be shorter than the 80k i am aiming before, but that's okay. ezra just saved pandora from a pack of starving werewolves which are now their cell mates. on the outside vampires are higher on the foodchain than werewolves and so they backed off when ezra bit pandora and claimed her, but they are starving so they started to challenged the claim and ezra is going to bite pandora again. pan is kind of sleeping and i was thinking that she may becomes aroused during the bite because ezra is licking her neck etc and she kisses ezra. not sure if they should then kiss passionatly and really snog or even have sex or if pan should be horrified that she kissed the other girl and it just gets awkward. suggestions?

raven_rosebud's Halloween party:

angelicmurmur dressed as Madonna.
limyaael dressed as the Foreign Power Ranger.
mpepper dressed as a diplomat from Nauru.
mrsdboone dressed as the Governor of Louisiana.
sexy_siren25 dressed as a modest lizard.
sparkles25 dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Skipper Barfhumperdinck".

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
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this is day two with no writing

Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself. ~Author Unknown

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

i'm hanging my head in shame. i didn't write a single word yesterday and it is already noon and i haven't wrote anything yet. i just don't want to sit down at my writing desk and stare at the computer. i have no idea what to write today.

i feel kind of bad, i'm being really mean to my characters this morning. the book is progressing into a much darker story as new inmates are brought in from a camp that was recently destroyed during an attack. All inmates who do not meet the criteria for appearance are being re-processed which includes all hair, face, head and body being removed and then the newly shaved areas being disinfected. i read that they did they to new arrivals in concentration camps and i want to make the book believable for the most part. the cells that once held one inmate will now hold a dozen or more since there are not enough cells for everyone. things will get violent among the inmates since they will not seperate them by race and there is hatred among the werewolves, vampires and emps. Many that are coming in from the other camp are starving so there may even be some fights over the weaker inmates who may end up as food.

i went to this site, the gender genie. you paste in something you wrote and it figures out the gender of the author. for my book it says i am female but all the blog entries i pasted in said i was male. interesting. check it out..
http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.html

people are horrible creatures. i've been spending the last two hours researching for the book and am on the verge of tears from what i have read. i've been reading Journey into Madness by Gordon Thomas which talks of The True Story of Secret CIA Mind Control and Medical Abuse. one section talks of how they would perform electroshock therapy through either the head or genitals, they would make an incision in someone's stomach and then place a starving rat on the person's stomach so that it would gnaw its way through while the person was alive and awake. i'm also reading Sofsky's The Order of Terror: The Concentration Camp which breaks down the life in the concentration camps from what happens when they would arrive to the death factories. and for some more recent horrors try The Torture Papers: The Road to Abu Ghraib which was edited by Karen J Greenberg and Joshua L Dratel. This book talks about how we broke the rules of the Geneva Convention while dealing with detainees in Afghanistan, Iraq and Guantanamo Naval Base.

all i can think while reading these books is of the secret CIA prisons and how Bush wanted/wants to change the Geneva Convention so that they can interragate prisoners by any means necessary. we're back sliding and it scares the hell out of me.

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow

i suck

11,987 / 80,000 (15.0%)

One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment. ~Hart Crane

I made a small adjustment to the story this morning. I added in that there was a war between the fantasy creatures and humans. The vampires etc that were captured were imprisoned in the hospital where they were subjected to inhumane treatment and scientific experiments. I'm not going to talk much about the war because Ezra and Pandora are unaware of how things have progressed since they are living in the hospital. Ezra's chapters often deal with her thinking about her life before her capture so I will bring in small details about the war during those times. I did mention that some humans were against the way the prisoners were being treated and they protested, obviously that didn't help.

I did some research on electoshock therapy this morning. A man who has had nineteen 'treatments' has a website where you can find more information. He said afterwards when he woke up his jaw was sore, his limps ached and he had a horrible headache. The most common side effects are headaches and some memory loss, usually the time immediatly after a treatment. So, I could have them use electroshock therapy on unruly inmates to keep them in line sometimes and either give them memory loss of the day it happened or he says he has memory loss from six months before his treatments started so...Pandora may not really remember the six months that happened before the book starts. I mention she has scars all over her body, maybe she doesn't remember how they got there. I was thinking since the inmates are not human I could also say that their bodies and brains can handle it better and there is no permenant damage. Okay I'm off to write.

Incase you're interested here's the site

I mention in the first part of my book that Pandora undergoes 'treatments' of electric shock. Now I am seven chapters in and I've relized I haven't brought it up again. So, do I cut it from the first chapter or add it in at some point in the book. Also, if I add it in why do you think they would perform electric shock therapy on her?

Thanks